i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
