I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
Randomize
