Porn is love you can see.
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
Randomize
