this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
third nipple confirmed
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
Randomize
