got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Randomize