Well douche your snatch and let's go!
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
