you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
