i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
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