the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
Randomize
