dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
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