Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Randomize
