This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
Randomize
