she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
Randomize
