So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
Randomize
