I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
I still have a little drunk in my system
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Randomize
