Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
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