the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
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