Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
Randomize
