so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Randomize
