it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
i just told my mom tuesday boozeday rhymes so that she can remember not to text or call me on wednesday mornings
youre going to kill that woman one of these days
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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