Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
Randomize
