Where are you?
In a non slutty way
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
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