3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
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