I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
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