brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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