Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
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