Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
This show inspires me to have sex in space
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
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