the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
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