she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
Randomize
