well you can't waste a boner
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Randomize