I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
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