The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
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