I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
My boob is missing a layer of skin
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
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