NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
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