Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
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