I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
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