So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
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