STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
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