I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom is pretending to be Paula Deen while making breakfast...I'm pretty sure she's sober.
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
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