She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
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