new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
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