Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
Randomize
