This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
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