So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
Randomize
