Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
They took my balls.
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
Is that strawberry winking at me??
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
Randomize
