xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
Randomize
