So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
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