i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
stop calling my apartment porn island.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
How does it feel to date your dad?
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
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