you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
My new dentist just kinda stared at me when I told him that I used to have partial dentures after breaking 2 teeth while beating the shit out of someone, until I puked them into the toilet and flushed them after getting high and making myself undercooked mac and cheese.
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
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