With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
Randomize
