I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
Then you guys just all showered together...?
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Randomize
