Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
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