There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
Watching her eat just hurts me
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
Randomize
