Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
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