The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
Randomize
