So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
Randomize
