I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
ttyl tear gas
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
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