I had new employee orientation at the YMCA today. I showed up with a hangover, a black eye, scratches down my arm, and a sore throat from puking gin and keystone.
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
ALERT: Turns out when I'm drunk I turn into a clepto. I just found keys, a ketchup bottle, and sweatshirt in my backpack that don't belong to me. If yours, come collect from me. I'm still drunk in the back of biology lecture.
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
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