we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
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