just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
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