Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
Randomize
