So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
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