The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
People With No Siblings Will Never Understand These 23 Things
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
25 Seemingly Normal Things That Give Some People Massive Anxiety
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.