u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Randomize