I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize