Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
Randomize
