he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving