and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
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Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
19 Worst Song Lyrics of All Time
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here