Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
she told me i tasted like america
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
I just crop dusted the hot FedEx guy delivering my business cards...then asked him "Was that you?" How the fuck am I allowed to be an adult?
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